


it's hard when you're in the bed next to me

by HufflepuffleMarauder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Boys Kissing, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, M/M, Mentions of Masturbation, Sirius Black In Love, implications of masturbation, it's just trash i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28924878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HufflepuffleMarauder/pseuds/HufflepuffleMarauder
Summary: He was Remus LupinAnd Sirius was hopelessly in love with himIt was especially frustrating that their beds were neighbours
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 37





	it's hard when you're in the bed next to me

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written wolfstar before - and it's been YEARS since I wrote (properly anyway) for Potter
> 
> But I decided I'd stay true to my pen-name and venture to the couple I love but I've been too scared to write for

He had a crooked smile with lopsided teeth.

He kept his lips tightly shut in a smirk when something entertained him.

He stirred his tea anti-clockwise (and sometimes charmed the spoon to do it for him).

He held a ball of flames in his long fingers when he felt like showing off his wandless magic. 

He bit his lips so much the skin tore and bled.

He’d curl his gangly limbs under a pile of blankets. 

He swore like a sailor and spoke like a scholar.

He was Remus Lupin.

And Sirius was hopelessly in love with him. 

At first it wasn’t too bad. Sirius simply thought he was growing more attached as their friendship blossomed. They were best friends after all, the four of them, the Marauders. And best friends had the unbreakable bond of platonic love and shared secrets. Sirius knew he appreciated each of his friends in a way that his parents would disapprove. He loved the way James would bare his teeth when he grinned. He loved the way Peter’s eyes shone when they got away with something. 

Except he  _ loved  _ Remus. And not just the special things, mundane ones. Like how he held his quill so loosely, and how he pulled his bed covers up to his chin when they talked in candle light, how he’d quirk his head to the left when asked a question, how he’d vehemently deny he snored at night. 

This became a problem when Sirius found himself lying awake at night to hear the rise and falls of Remus’ breaths as he slept. The heavy silence allowed his thoughts to wander into dangerous territory, leaving him hot and flustered with the realisation that his crush was a physical attraction too. 

_ Merlin help him _

His crush was hard to hide, especially from Remus himself. Sirius had always enjoyed physical contact with his friends, hand-holding, sitting squashed together on one armchair, lying in the grass. But in light of his recent revelation, 

The worst of it, their beds were neighbours. 

Sirius never had problems with sleeping before. He and Remus snoozed peacefully next to each other for years. Occasionally sharing late night chats about the perils of being teenagers and other unimportant life stuff. It was very enjoyable really, having his best friend right there, so close he could reach a hand out and hit him with a pillow. 

There were even times when they’d share a bed, intimate moments the other two weren’t privy of. It was usually after a particularly rough full moon, or a heart-to-heart over Sirius’ turbulent family. They’d clasp their hands between them and pull the sheets over their heads, creating a little cave where only they existed. Remus would sometimes do some wandless magic to cheer Sirius up, cradling mystical fire with a gentle hand. And Sirius would get distracted by the way the flames reflected in Remus’ amber eyes. 

But yes, their beds were neighbours. Which made it incredibly hard for Sirius to concentrate on sleeping. 

“Sirius!” 

He cracked open an eye.

“ _ Padfoot! _ ”

He told himself firmly to stay put. 

“Padfoot I know you’re awake!” 

Sirius shifted around in his sheets to face Remus with a death glare. These days he’d taken to sleeping away from Remus, which meant one of his arms got squashed more than the other, but it was enough for him to sacrifice to get a proper sleep. After all, if he was the other way round he’d be staring at his crush all night. 

As always, Remus held burning flames in his hand.”I’ve got you something to eat.” 

“What?” Sirius croaked, blinking slowly in the light. “Whatareyouonabout?”

“You missed dinner, remember? Said you needed an early night.” 

_ You idiot.  _ Sirius, in fact,  _ did  _ miss dinner, which was an incredibly un-Sirius thing to do. Though it wasn’t for an early night. Merely some privacy to... take care of things, as one would put it quite prudely. 

Taking care of things meant pleasuring himself when no one else was around because  _ bloody hell  _ sometimes he hated having to share a room with three other teenage boys. It was almost impossible to get some much needed alone time _ (especially  _ while sleeping in the bed next to his crush), and he knew the others felt it too. James would take some  _ very  _ long showers in the morning, Peter had been found wide awake at the crack of dawn, and Remus… well Remus was another story. 

Sirius could cover the wall with a tally chart for how many times he couldn’t sleep, then heard muffled sighs and grunts coming from next to him. He had to say it - that dude had some bravery to go right out and masturbate in a room of three other people. Sirius would admire it if it didn’t set  _ him  _ off as well. He would then have to complete the horrendous task of trying to sleep while completely aroused and unable to deal with it for fear of being heard. 

And that was the template for the situation that had happened the night before. Unable to sleep, with his mind running mad, Sirius was awake at some unholy time in the night. Perhaps it was the unrest of the day? They hadn’t done a lot, being a Saturday. He and James had put off doing their homework and turned into couch potatoes, enjoying the freedom of the day and the fireplace in the common room. Though this had taken its toll as the usual energy Sirius exerted on annoying his friends was now pent up and irritating. 

Then the worst thing happened…

Movement from Remus’ bed. Rustling of sheets, shifting of limbs. A small sigh filled the air and Sirius forgot to breathe. Then the sighs got louder and the breathing got heavier and  _ oh  _ it sounded amazing. Sirius’ hand itched to reach down and stroke himself at the same tempo. The almost silent sounds Remus made turned him on more than he’d like to admit. And hearing him finish with a satisfied exhale made Sirius grit his teeth to prevent himself from making a sound. Remus muttered a few incantations to clean himself up no doubt and apparently went back to sleep. After what seemed like a lifetime, Sirius gave into his desires and came so strongly he had to muffle his sounds with his pillow. He was so nervous that he was even too scared to say  _ tergeo  _ for fear he’d wake someone up. So that night he slept with a burning red face and sticky sheets. 

So Sirius skipped dinner in favour of having his own private moment to fantasise about Remus without the guilt of being bed neighbours. 

“Oh uh yeah - yeah I needed some sleep.” Sirius answered quickly, shaking himself out of his desires. 

Remus nodded his head over to where James snored. “I nicked James’ cloak to get you some food from the kitchens.” He pulled back his sheets to reveal a small collection of pastries, and Sirius’ stomach grumbled loudly. 

Before Remus could say anything else, Sirius clambered onto his bed and grabbed the closest croissant he could reach. 

“I knew you were hungry.” Remus grinned at him. 

“Starving.” 

“How come you needed more sleep anyway? You slept in this morning.” 

Sirius almost rolled his eyes. Interrogation was such a Remus thing to do. “I just needed… some time alone - to - to sleep.” 

Remus raised his eyebrows suggestively, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “So you definitely weren’t up here to have a wank in private?”

Sirius almost spat out his croissant and Remus covered a giggle with his hand.

“Well yeah I - I wanted to -  _ ugh  _ I bloody hate you Moony! I thought no one would notice!” 

Remus only laughed even more and Sirius pushed him away half-heartedly. 

“Oh come on, we all do it! Why do you think James takes such long showers?” 

“Don’t think I don’t hear you during the night!” Sirius bit back, grinning now in the easy teasing of theirs.

Remus smirked. “I’m very aware, I know it irritates you.”

He could have choked. “Wha - what?”

“I can always hear you struggling to get back to sleep, it’s why I don’t wank off too much, I feel a little bad for your sanity.” Remus said, still smiling but now a little guiltier, with a pink tinge to his cheeks.

_ You’ve got to be kidding me.  _ Remus was either very dense, or he totally knew but just liked to tease. 

Sirius sighed. “You’re an idiot Moony.”

Remus feigned confusion. “An idiot? How?” 

“You’re just - “ He stopped, struggling for words that weren’t compliments. “- just so dumb” 

Scoffing, Remus reached a hand up to push Sirius’ hair out the way. “I can assure you, I’m most definitely not.” 

Sirius blinked. “Are you - are you being - “

“Serious?” Remus sniped with a grin. “I’m always serious with you.”

It felt right. Not just because Remus looked so attractive in fire. Not just because it was late at night. But because Sirius needed to know what Remus was harping on about, before he lost his chance. 

He cupped Remus’ face and in one movement he brushed their lips together. That was all they needed for the whole world to stop existing. Remus returned the gesture and pulled him closer, biting on his bottom lip and intensifying their kiss. Sirius was sure his teeth would leave a bruise. Their breath mingled together each time they paused, heaving and grabbing at clothing. 

“I - I had no idea that you - that you -  _ liked  _ me - “ Sirius gasped out between Remus kissing him hard. 

Sirius felt him grin. “I supposed I hid it well then,” He said into his neck, and Sirius breathed a sigh at the sensation. “because it’s hard - when you’re in the bed next to me.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This may or may not be my last venture into this fandom, I thought I was completely done with it and hyper-fixated on something else but here we are
> 
> This story definitely took a bit of a detour to what I initially wanted it to be, but I think the final product came out alright. 
> 
> Feel free to let me know what you think! :)


End file.
